Communication is Key

Communication is Key

I find it is getting harder and harder for me to communicate with my peers genuinely.  I know I’m not alone in the act of letting a phone call ring out, hoping they will “text me if it’s important”.  I am not the only one who has stumbled uncomfortably through in-person interviews.  These days there is a growing trend of leaving relationships by just simply not talking to the other person or just completely choosing to ignore them.  We live in an age where communication is no longer genuine in the fact that people generally prefer to communicate in forms that allow them to review and then edit their thoughts before they are ever voiced.   This destroys the fabric of what one would call genuine human interaction.  It’s hard to describe but it’s important to be able to read someone’s body language and tone of voice to be able to tell how they really feel.  I believe it is doing damage to our psychological and social realms.  The age where we have 500 plus “friends” but don’t know how to genuinely speak to anyone, we feel isolated and alone.

As I grow older I have begun to realize that I deeply enjoy meaningful conversation.  I have also begun to realize how important it is to our wellbeing.  Humans need an amount of human interaction in order to feel normal, after all we are social creatures which is why social media seems like such a positive thing.  I’m not saying that Social media is not a wonderful tool for communication and networking, what I’m getting at is overuse and oversaturation, and the adverse effects it has on us as a civilization over time.

There is nothing in the world more satisfying than sitting and having a good conversation with people who are interesting or have ideas to share, or sharing a good laugh with friends over complete nonsense.  Even random encounters and conversations with strangers you meet, Its these conversations that teach us about ourselves and inspire us to do more.  It is proven that laughing relieves stress and is great for your core among other things.  Genuine communication is part of any relationship both business and personal, and an important factor of any group setting large and small.

It seems to take people by surprise anymore when you call them because we are all so used to receiving most of our correspondence through some sort of electronic text or picture message.  If anything I encourage people to use their phone to actually make voice calls, even if it’s just to call your parents or a good friend.  It’s good practice, and it’s always good to hear a loved one’s voice is it not?

Verbal communication is one of the human traits that make us what we are as a species.  We have been able to advance faster than any other species in part because of our ability to adapt quickly as well as our ability to communicate.  We are the only species on the planet with languages and detailed vocal communication that is not impulsive or instinctive like other creatures.  Our languages have developed over thousands and thousands of years.  The first human communication most likely came as grunts, pops and clicks, eventually becoming different tones and incorporating more body language.  Over thousands of years humans refined it into the dialects and sounds of modern language that have been used and shared to strengthen the human bond over time.

Today that bond is breaking at a rapid pace due to the over saturation and dependence on technological communication.  It has only been around for a couple generations in its apex, but already I believe we are witnessing the overall effects of being hopeless dependent on our little screen devices.  People can be whoever they want online, and can see information and details about a person without ever actually interacting with said person.  Men can lust over pictures of the girls they know but are too shy to ever ask out just as the women can post pictures of themselves every five minutes in a grab for attention or some kind of validation.  Despite all of the good and positive, social media is a breeding ground for bullying and trolling with little to no recourse for the people who are cyber bullying others to the point of death in some instances.  In the past couple years we have seen kids live stream their own suicide.  Like damn…  Am I the only one who sees and feels there is a problem?  These are not healthy behaviors both on the individual level or the societal level.

In today’s turbulent political and social climate most social media has become simply a shit slinging match from one side to another with neither side offering any logical solution or compromise.  Using logic and taking a more centrist stand in hopes of maybe finding compromise usually attracts even more hate.  I won’t get into that, I could write a whole other post about that…  I probably will eventually.

If you have read this far I encourage you to try to communicate more offline.  I realize that technology is a huge factor with communication in the modern world.  However, we still have the choice whether we want to use online or offline methods.  All of those little smart devices still make and receive calls it’s up to us to use them and to schedule time out of our lives to chat with each other.  Yes, It does take effort.

I urge everyone to challenge themselves to try to communicate better.  It can be something simple like calling a friend or loved one out of the blue, just to say hi.  Possibly scheduling a date or think session with a good friend or coworker just to share ideas with each other.  Getting over the angst or nervousness of calling someone is a big part of the battle.  I always feel like I am bugging someone when I call them.  Bottom line that isn’t usually true and if they are unavailable they will simply silence it and you can leave them a message, because I know everyone just loves voice mails.

If you have to say something important or time sensitive, just call them dammit!  So many people (myself included) just let the phone ring then answer with a text.  I don’t know what the fuck that is about!?!  It takes more effort and energy to write the response than it would be to just answer and say “nothing, yeah let’s meet up later”, or whatever.   People spend incalculable amounts of time simply waiting for so n so to answer.  Don’t waste either of your time, Fuckin call them.

Play table top, card, and board games.  What better way to get a couple friends together?  Table top games are excellent ways to have fun with a couple enjoyable people and it is excellent practice for communicating really.  It seems kind of corny but it forces us to respond genuinely without any forethought.  As well you can learn a lot about people by how they play and react to certain games or situations.  Playing any game with others requires communication but even more when you remove the technology or video element.

Practice what you have to say or present before you have to meet face to face.  This is a suggestion that has helped me through many class presentations and interviews.  It’s kind of a no brainer but practicing beforehand, when I know I have to communicate, really helps me to get my timing down.  Also it helps prepare for any questions someone may ask.   I practice out loud and time myself if there is a time limit.  I will also ask questions of myself and make pretend dialogue, again sounds corny but really helps.  When I finally have to talk to whomever it usually seems to take the edge off of my nervousness.

Remember communication is key in any relationship, business or otherwise.  Use it!  It is one of the amazing tools we are intrinsically gifted as human beings.  One of our great essences.